Wednesday, February 01, 2006
so its a new year!
happy new year and here are my blessings to all (:
as usual cny was spent at my granny's place in malaysia.
having the house to myself most of the time back here, it sure feels weird living with so many relatives under the same roof during this particular period every year.
the place is so packed that...
during the reunion dinner, 2 huge round tables werent sufficient.
so some had to stand and eat while some 'hopped-table'.
ha..
and it sucks when its bathing time.
you really gotta quene up!
and some would go over to my uncle's place instead.
3 of my other uncles are like neighbours.
kinda cool.
and its like you'd get to another relative's house through another's backdoor.
hoho.
and no, its not a HDB flat we're talking about here.
and im dying from sleep starvation.
in the morning my aunties would start yakking away so loudly that it was impossible to catch a wink when you were woken up by their loud voices.
in the afternoon, i was literally tortured by the little ones.
although lingling is 12 this year, she wanted me to piggy back her most of the time.
and another cousin minmin would start going against lingling.
so its like... one was pulling my left arm and the other my right arm.
you get the idea? zzz.
and my 2 other cousins weizhen and ahbee... they're totally big bullies.
one kept teasing me about my atrocious mandarin and the other... just wouldnt quit torturing me.
grrrr.
so yeah. the little ones kept me occupied most of the time.
they were like super glue.
but so so adorable.
and i miss them :(
and when it was bed time, the sound of people playing mahjong would keep you wide awake.
not just the adults but my cousins who're so into it.
/shakes head.
had a talk with charlie about his past relationship.
kinda saddening.
behind the brave front he's putting on, sorrow pierce through his eyes.
and huixian told me about her studies at ACCA which is a total turn-off. and she actually had derrick's number ages ago!
she actually knew him!
but has already deleted his number and is now regretting.
hahaha.
anyway we completed this ou xiang ju of 15hrs++ in just 2 days!
c'mon we're pro right.
hahaha.
i'm highly amused at the number of unknown relatives i meet every year.
all of a sudden i've so many cousins and nephews i've never seen before.
cool.
so although it wasnt a truly exciting stay, i love every moment of it.
it feels great being surrounded by people related to you, in one way or another.
on the way back from ang mo kio, we passed by a place.so familiar.and my mind was flooded with memories.bitter and sweet ones.after visiting 2 other maternal relatives when we reached home yesterday, met up with justin and gabe at fishermans village.
xueling and her bf pangseh-ed us, expectedly.
haha.
and no, i dont wanna be their drinking partner.
dont wanna put my liver at stake.
try telling them that!
grrrr.
justin sang the english version of "tong hua".
was really hilarious!
gabe and i(was me most of the time actually) ruined the supposedly romantic atmosphere by laughing too loudly.
hoho.
talked about lotsa stuff.
relationships, justin's gruesome experiences and i cant remember what else.
both justin and gabe have totally opposite mindsets.
but weirdly, they still get along pretty well.
6yrs of friendship.
really missed those days back in sec school.
their advices do make sense.
but its easier said than done.
ah. am working the midnight shift later.
gonna get suaned by jason again!
@$&%&*$@once again, happy chinese new year to all! may everyone be blessed with good health, fortune and happiness.
peace. (:
i'm fucking tired of explaining and reasoning with you that i dont give a bloody damn anymore.
i thought i've said things lucidly to you aeons ago regarding us.
but now i know that whatever i say wouldnt make a difference.
if possible i would wanna alleviate the pain that i've inflicted.
afterall i've no ill-intents of hurting anyone.
and i dont wanna be the one obstructing you from pursuing your own happiness.
but you're making things difficult for both of us.
i feel suffocated.
why are you tormenting us.
you know i dont wanna hurt you.
but its inevitable.
i've no idea what to say to you anymore.
just that i'm sick of everything(and you're well aware of it)
what i can say is, no miracles would ever happen between us.
waiting would only lead to desolation.
but i know you're persistent.
there's nothing i can do.
really.
all i hope for is for you to find your own happiness and leave me alone.
we had a past.
wasnt that a chance given already.
i'm not only irritated.
but helpless.you never lose by loving. you always lose by holding back.really?
take me with you
4:29 PM
